It’s nearly the end of January and I can’t quite believe that the first month of 2014 is really coming to a close, although I apparently still think it’s 2013. Next month is is James’ 26th birthday and our anniversary – we’ll have been together 8 years on the 26th of February. Some of the couples we knew in college, and people who got together once it was over, are married now, even though they hadn’t been together anywhere near as long as we had, which is strange to think about. At the moment we don’t plan on getting married as we had parents who went through messy divorces and have been children stuck in the middle of that, so I’m not sure that it will ever happen, but that isn’t something I’m really that bothered about. We’re not in a position where it is something that might be a problem in the future, either, and our focus, unsurprisingly, is on how we can make things easier for him.
Even though things at work do seem to be okay, as he’s only had one day shift and that problem appears to have faded, he still wants to find a different job. He never wanted to work in retail in the first place, but at the time he had very little choice and with everything that’s happened he feels trapped. We do have rent to pay, groceries to buy, and a car to keep running, so he needs to be working, and it is now easier for me to help. That just doesn’t stop him from worrying, normally about things had can’t change or won’t be able to if they do happen, and his ongoing medical issue isn’t helping. Especially not with the job hunt. This morning he looked really uncomfortable, so I’ll be reminding him later that he really should be filling his most recent prescription to see if what’s on there might help. He might also be trying out some herbal remedies, because we need something to work, something that makes his life easier, especially after what he said a couple of days ago.
As I’ve mentioned before this is an issue that even makes sitting down uncomfortable and that is beginning to affect him more than it had been before. Sadly there’s really not much I can do to help, except for get things for him if he’s having a bad day, and I hate that. The worst part is not having the problem myself, because it’s stupidly easy for me to forget that I can’t do certain things any more as I’m not suffering personally. I always try to think and stop myself before I do anything that might hurt him, but I actually have to remind myself that he does have a problem. That is one of the hardest parts of it all and another is never knowing when he’s going to be having a bad day. Some days he’s pretty normal. On other days everything affects him and I can say something I’d say on another day that he’ll react to in an entirely different way. I don’t blame him, I really don’t, but that doesn’t make things any easier to deal with, unfortunately.
His bad days can affect my days too, especially as we seem to bounce our emotions off each other, so it isn’t unusual for one of his bad days to turn into one of our bad days, no matter how hard I try to stop that from happening. Although he hasn’t been having days, really, recently, due to his body needing much more sleep than before, and being with the dogs does make getting him up more difficult, although getting him up is never an easy job. Even before he was ill he had trouble with getting out of bed and it’s getting worse, annoyingly, which just makes everything more difficult for both of us. To be honest all we both want is for him to spontaneously get better, but the likelihood of that happening with me somehow actually using some of the magic I love to write about is slightly higher than nil. Maybe sort of 0.003%.
I will be buying James’ birthday presents on the 1st as his birthday is on the 4th and I still have no idea what to get for Nan (the 5th) which isn’t unusual. He will be getting coffee, because that is his drink of choice, a thermos mug, in the hope that he might some day be able to drink a mug of coffee that hasn’t gone through the microwave several times before he finishes it, and a thermos, so he can take good coffee to work with him, as he really doesn’t like instant. Any donations in the next few days will be going towards that as I have some spare cash in my purse that I was going to be using that can instead be used for the rent. Last month I paid my half and, hopefully, I should be able to do the same this month.
With this aim in mind I’ve been advertising my ghost writing services on other sites, and I even got a nibble, although what she seemed to want didn’t really meet my definition of ghost writing, so I ended up turning it down. I’ve edited the sponsor a collection page to make the first option cost around $5, to make things easier for my American readers, while 2000 words costs about $10. These words will be posted online, so if anyone is interested then click the button, and I’ve added a text box named collection that you can, of course, add more information to in order to let me know exactly what you want. Give me a collection and a setting, a collection and a character, a collection and a story, or even give me an AU or crossover.
Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.