Written for LJ user ysabetwordsmith’s prompt: Jack, who is asexual, sees two people snogging in a hallway. It reminds him of how lonely he is, and he wishes that he could find someone to connect with in a nonsexual way.
Jack walked through the donor house, trying not to notice the couples all around him. Some were humans who had met at the house and decided that they really liked each other. Others were vampires who started dating donors in the house, having made the choice not to feed from them during the time they were in the house, which was slightly strange to witness. It seemed like everywhere he went there was another couple. As he wandered towards the shop, thinking seriously about picking some chocolate up, he walked past a human couple kissing in a corner. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and tried not to let it get to him.
Being able to visit the donor house did make things easier, most of the time. There were just days when Jack felt his lack of companion more than others. On those days he noticed all the couples around him, connecting on a romantic and sexual level, and wished he could find someone he could connect with in a way he was comfortable with. He had more acquaintances than he ever had before, but no one he’d call more than a friend. Blake was easy to spend time with, as was Alice, John and Morgan. They just didn’t understand him, which wasn’t exactly unusual, because he’d never really met anyone.
Every time a new donor or new vampire arrived Jack felt a moment of hope, but in some ways his search was made harder by not expecting to find someone. He watched the couple without making it obvious he was watching them and felt a hole inside him. Friends helped, because it meant he had someone to talk to, he just wanted something more than friendship that wasn’t sexual in any way.
Morgan was his donor of choice, because Jack knew she wasn’t interested him as anything more than a friend. It made feeding easier, knowing that she was simply there to give him the blood he needed to survive without expecting anything more. Some of the other donors looked at him, saw someone good looking, and then feeding became something more than he wanted it to be. A lot of the time they didn’t even realise that it had, but Jack could feel things change for him. Once that happened he could never return to the donor.
Sighing, Jack pulled his eyes away from the couple. That wasn’t what he wanted. Kissing in corners was for others. He was looking for someone who was the same as he was, but it was so hard to describe the way he felt about people. When he saw people in love there was always a sexual element to it, with more feedings that he could remember there had been that same element, and he just wanted the love part. Describing that to someone who felt love was emotional and sexual was hard, because he could never find the right words to explain how he felt about people.
After one final glance Jack finished his journey to the shop and picked up a bar of chocolate, because that never expected more from him than he could give.
Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.